The Blog of Breeza

If you type the word 'chair' into google you get 130,000,000 results, I just thought everyone needed to know that. I just typed in 'Pointless Palmtree' and clicked I'm Feeling Lucky and my site came up! So happy! Did you know if you type miserable failure and click the I'm Feeling Lucky you get George Bush's biography thingy? It's the official whitehouse version too! Weapons of Mass Destruction used to get an interesting result but now it's all boring. It used to come up with a page saying 'Weapons of Mass Destruction Cannot Be Found'. It looked like that annoying Page Cannot Be Found thing. I was google whacking before, I'm not very good. I got it right once but I forgot what it was. I just tried 'scandalous caterpillar' but for some reason it had a lot of results...there are a lot of malevolent broccoli as well. I knew there was a reason I never liked broccoli very much. I found one! Putrefied Cumberbun!
Sorry about this boring post, I'm feeling particularily bored at the moment. I've added links to the people who post stuff 'cos crazyness did and it seemed like a good idea! Anyways, that's it for now.

5:33 pm;
rawrd by Brie
9 soliloquies

Recently Ludicrousity tripped over my blog and bruised herself so I figured I had better warn people. Warn! So if anyone else trips up I'm sorry but you can't sue me, I have a warning, it's red and bold and everything . I don't want to be sued for negligently leaving stuff everywhere.
I have four exams this week and two next week. All Japanese dictionaries have been banned from Japanese exams (as well as in Maths, English, Graphics, Biology and History exams but I don't think you need one for any of those subjects) which is evil and mean and not very nice. We're allowed English dictionaries in English and if there was such a thing as a Maths dictionary we would probably be allowed them in Maths exams. Oh well, I've complained now so I'm happy.
Complaining is fun, if you have a complaint please add a comment. (Unless it's about this blog cos then you'd be evil and mean and not very nice as well and you don't want that) I complain a lot when we have to hike on school camps. So does Crazyness. If everyone complained about hiking on school camps then maybe we wouldn't have to anymore and the world would be a better place. For school camps we could go to five star hotels instead, then everybody would be happy, except maybe the school cos they'd have to pay for it...oh well, I'd be happy and that's all that matters.

4:40 pm;
rawrd by Brie
5 soliloquies

I'm not sure how many people have clicked on my little '69% evil' banner but you should definately take a look. It comes from a site that tells you how evil words or websites are by patterns found in the text. I think my site is actually 30-something% evil at the moment but it was 69% when I did it. The word 'Pointless' is 99% Evil but 'Palmtree' is 99% Good, together they are 50/50 as you've probably figured out. My name is 99% Good (Aimless Penguin and my real name) Anyways it's pretty cool, it gives you an analysis and you can paste in the html for a little certificate and everything.
I'm feeling really sad at the moment because no one commented on my last post. I know it was stupid but that is no excuse. When I come back on someone better have commented (I'm talking to you Crazyness). Our busdriver started singing tonight, it was kinda scary. That doesn't have anything to do with anything but oh well.

7:26 pm;
rawrd by Brie
16 soliloquies

Posts are tall sticks used in fences, street lamps and many other incredibly useful things. This is just another kind of post, except this one has no use whatsoever. Apart from that, it is still a pretty cool post. It has lots of fancy things like words which are very useful things... Street lamps sometimes have words too. They tell you the name of the street in itty bitty writing that you can only read just as you are passing it. These words are nice and big especially the word 'big' as it is a very big word. Small is a small word and noise is incredibly quiet because I am too lazy to add a sound.
Okay...I'll be slightly more sensible now...well, very slightly anyway. Today was a rather boring day, exam revision, more exam revision, more exam revision, someone spilt a big tin of paint on the classroom floor, more exam revision and the bell. I like the bell, it makes a good sound, (another word for 'noise') except first thing in the morning when school starts, then it sounds horrible and I usually ignore it.
On a totally irrelevant note I would just like to say that if you have something irrelevant to add then go ahead, unless it's about yeast-cooking (I'm talking to you Jill Davies) 'cos it is now relevant as I have mentioned it in this street lamp-like-thing. Plus I'm feeling particularily un-yeasty at the moment, If that makes any sense which I doubt it does.
If this has confused you then don't worry, I'm confused too.

9:23 pm;
rawrd by Brie
3 soliloquies

You know there is something seriously wrong with you when you start dreaming about minesweeper. I didn't mean to, I don't even play it very often. Just while I'm waiting for something to print. But last night I did and in it if I didn't solve the expert level the world was going to be blown up. I have strange dreams. I've dreamt about spider solitaire as well, the king of spades and the king of hearts were having an argument about whether to divorce their queens or not. I did say I have strange dreams.
In books people always dream about flying. I have dreamt about having wings, I was crawling through a secret tunnel with some Americans after me for some unknown reason, but never actually flying and being free and all that. I've been to a McDonald's all-you-can-eat buffet, been 2 cm tall and helped all of mankind by learning the recipe for butterscotch lollies, collected floating Yugi Oh cards so I can sit in a clam (yes I do mean the sea creature) and walked around a cathedral with some spirits from the Japanese animation 'Spirited Away'. Oh and that evil guy from Lord of the Rings (Sauron?) has been elected as school captain of my primary school.
I like my dreams, they make no sense but are definitely more interesting than flying.

7:59 pm;
rawrd by Brie
9 soliloquies

The third question. If you just found this site read the serial killer one first.

Hijack the world's supply of trampolines and bubblewrap and build myself a castle!
Make the world into ONE BLOODY BIG CHOCOLATE FACTORY!
Throw France into space, Put all the Chinese in Tibet & all the Tibetians in China. Then annoy the Chinese.
Spell out a funny word in Russia by dividing it into states.
I'm gonna flop my penis about
I would make all the countries speak the same language, World peace, I would have a castle in every country in every country and whenever people say me name everyone who heard has to do some sort of salute.
Can you please leave me alone?
MATT DAMON
Yvonne* says I write messy so I would make everybody kill Yvonne* and then write like me. No offence Yvonne*.
I would firstly kill everyone in the world who think it's fun to start these pieces of crap. Then I would employ the ingenious people who suggested the swapping of Tibet and China & the division of Russia. Then I would cut off Ronald's* penis that he keeps flopping about& make Juliet* queen (as she suggested). I would then make everyone leave Pipi* alone as this would create world peace. Finally, I'd cut off Theodore's* hands so he could write so shittily. After all that, I would sleep for eternity.
Rape a donkey
I would fly like a guy, 4 a Y
Fly away
Marry Orlando Bloom and Brad Pitt at the same time.
Employ Cliff* to devise my plans
Employ everyone I hate in a private army, then secretly create a race of super-mutants, claim they are space invaders from space that must be killed, and send the army after them to their doom. It’s a difficult way of doing things but hey, I OWN THE WORLD!
Keep all the hookers for myself
Kill Lancelot*

Thanks to my maths class, even if you don't know where this site is.
Any more suggestions feel free to comment.

8:34 pm;
rawrd by Brie
3 soliloquies

Question number 2

By building an army of robo-frogs
By drugging everyone's chocolate supplies [insert evil laugh here]
I already have. I just have to press the button
The wheels are already in motion. The last piece of my planis a pale-faced henchman who will be arriving shortly
Like I'd give away my plan to you, you stinky plan stealer
You're the cops, aren't you?
Communism
Hmm, I haven't decided yet
With my penis, I'd flop it around
I'd let someone else figure it out them kill them and take their place
I would make a world of Yvonne Launceston's* (because she's smart)!
Pit the sides of the world against each other, so that everyone dies, except me and I would dominate myself.
Matt Damon
You're missing the point the real question is "How would Matt Damon dominate the world?"
I'd dominate the world by rooting Matt Damon and creating a super-race
Bottling Yvonne's sweat and replacing all the perfume with it.
Hop
By controlling Bill Gates and using Microsoft to spread my diabolical ideas.
Bore the world to death, with MATHS!! - with a "Truncus"
1. Create multi-million dollar empire 2. Hire agent to kidnap president 3. Create ransom demand of island in the Pacific 4. Fund secret nuclear weapons base on island 5. Build nuclear weapons arsenal 6. Hold world hostage 7. Control world
Become President of America
By inventing teleportation and creating a vast army
Become a PIMP and threaten to take away hookers
Hand control to Flemington Desmond* (He's so right wing we'd have to die)
I would kill everyone with Lancelot's* crap laptop. P.S. I hope the Matt Damon fucker is a chick
Kill Lancelot Brick* not for world domination but for the hell of the murder. To take over the world you have to kill people so why not start with Lancelot*
Create a mad army of poodles! hahahahaha

8:33 pm;
rawrd by Brie
0 soliloquies

Here's the original question.

Bubblewrap
Chocolate
Ethelbert*
Cecilia's* hair gel (it's not gel it's wax)
My bare hands
Piano wire
A photo of Ms Hamster*
A gun…duh!
Suicide Bombing
A Butter Knife
Boring them to death with hyperbolae. Math
With Lancelot's* crap computer
45-70 + Tank
A lifesize picture of Elton John
Knife
Flemington McDesmond*
Milk (to drown the cereal)
A blow torch & gas
Yvonne's* BO-gas them
A chainsaw and I'd tape it + have a reality murder show
My penis
Mr Magician's* sweat patches
A poodle 'cause It's my 'name'

*You know the drill, these names have been changed etc, etc.

8:32 pm;
rawrd by Brie
0 soliloquies

A bird got stuck in a tree at school yesterday. There I was, sitting in Japanese, trying to figure out how to write 'the movie called 'Sleepless in Seattle' is a romantic and famous movie' (スリプレス・イン・シアトルというえいがはロマンスとゆうめいです。Admittedly not a very good translation but what Japanese person really wants to know that anyway?) when everybody on the other side of the room started crowding around the window. There was a magpie dangling upside from a branch by its foot, flapping about. Apparently a year 7 class wanted to throw rocks at it to help it fall out but we were more mature. Someone decided that if we gave the lightest person in the class a boost they just might be able to reach it. After all it was only up at the very top of a very tall tree.
I had another class in the same room later on and this time we crowded around the window to watch the SES (Don't know what it stands for but they cut people out of cars in bad accidents and stuff like that) people standing around doing nothing. They had already cut the entire branch off and rescued the bird. I don't know if it was alright or not.
On another note I got a copy of the answers to those questions. I'll add another post, just to make my blog look longer than it really is.

8:30 pm;
rawrd by Brie
2 soliloquies

In my fourth post I have decided to write about elephants. As you should all know, elephants are very big animals. They can't jump and like to sit on things. I've always wanted a pet elephant. As I live near a high school I've decided I can let it out to roam around the school at night. It's not my school so it's alright if it sits on the gymnasium. During the day it could hang out in my backyard and eat students as they walk to school. I have it all figured out.
I also like penguins but I can't be bothered writing about them. This is probably a very boring post. I thought I'd write some of the answers for the questions on the 12th. Ideal weapons were: bubblewrap, chocolate, photos of various teachers, maths and one guy said with his penis, I'm not entirely sure how. If you've got a better answer (which would be pretty easy) please add a comment. For how would you achieve world domination? there was: I already have I just need to press the red button and, well actually I can't remember the rest...I'll post the whole list once I get a copy.
I'm going to add a quote now. My English teacher says quotes are good and I should put lots of them in my essays. I'm sure she'd be proud of me now. So remember "don't take lateral thinking down" (Bog Graffiti again) and if unsure whilst writing essays (*yawn*) add some quotes!

8:05 pm;
rawrd by Brie
0 soliloquies

Thank you to the two people who commented, it made me feel very special. One of my friends is planning on taking over the world with chocolate, she was going to drug the world's supply. I don't actually know who Uwe Boll is but I'll keep in mind I should never watch any of their movies.
On to other stuff I started watching Red Dwarf a while ago, it's kinda retarded (I'm sorry if I've offended anyone already - I'm not very politically correct) but I like it. I'm only up to series two. I need more stuff to write about now but I'm not sure what.
Some more about me I 'spose. I love frog stuff and chocolate stuff and (best of all) chocolate frog stuff! mmmmm...freddo...don't like caramello's though. Are they just an australian thing or are they in other countries too? Australian stuff (that's where I'm from if you haven't already figured it out) can be a little strange...anyone who has tried vegemite would know that. I mean, it's the leftover yeast stuff from making beer! I think it tastes gross!
Anyways, I'm a lazy person, that'll do.

5:28 pm;
rawrd by Brie
1 soliloquies

I like stuff, especially shiny stuff, sparkly stuff and stuff that does stuff. I did say this was pointless didn't I? So far I have 1 comment - from my brother, I made him go on and add it. If you are reading this can you comment, even if it's only to say that you like stuff? Adding comments is fun - you know you want to! Those of you who haven't added a comment yet should be ashamed of yourselves! (Now is when you're supposed to feel guilty and add a comment)
On a completely different note I have a NEW question (gasp in amazement please). [Insert drum roll here] When you turn off your TV where does the picture go? I know it isn't like the others but I'm curious. I guess I don't have to tell you what to do if you know the answer.
Ok, I'm bored of writing stuff now, I'll end with a quote (from The Intelligent Man's Guide to Bog Graffiti) "I probably wouldn't be so paranoid, if all those people weren't following me!"

4:41 pm;
rawrd by Brie
1 soliloquies

This site is pointless. If you don't like blunt things I suggest you go back to wherever you came from and try a more pointy site.

Not long ago some friends and I got bored. This is not unusual, we have short attention spans. During maths, yes we're in high school, one of my friends decided to pass a note around asking if you were a serial killer what would be your ideal weapon. We had some unusual and funny answers which I can't remember off the top of my head. I'll publish them soon. So, here are some questions. If you stumble across this site please add a comment. Here are the three we've started already-

If you were a serial killer what would be your ideal weapon?

How would you acquire world domination?

Once you had world domination what would you do?

Ok, that'll do for the moment. If you have any questions you like me to post then you could ask them too, or you could just sit there and think about what a weirdo I obviously am. Just wait til I write up some of the answers we've had so far, you'll find I'm incredibly normal!

5:40 pm;
rawrd by Brie
2 soliloquies

And I Quote
Days of Our Lives
James: The cahoot turns gay, :) gets married to :P, :( get smurfed by the police before finding out his a female lesbien and some one dies all in the first 5 minutes
Tim: B) comes out of his coma to find that :) ditched him for :P, and S) dies of face deformation

Hachan
Tim: Is hachan an object or a japanese person?
James: yes tim, coz breeza has a japanese person locked up in her cupboard at home
James: you dont do you bree???
Tim: 'Course she does. She flattens sandwiches and gives them to him under the door

James' Eyebrows
Emily: i go away for 4 days and you guys are back to being crap, gosh. since james is passed out we should draw on him or shave his eyebrows off. *shaver appears just as magicly as emily did*
Emily: *james has no eyebrows*
Emily: i wonder where they went...
James: WHORE!!!
Brie: aha... they must have magically reappeared though emily, he had them this morning
Brie: i think your mc-shavey gadget is broken
Brie: want some stickytape?

Morning
Emily: morning eh?...
Brie: yes, that thing that exists before midday
Brie: come and we shall never speak of the disgusting thing again

Necrophelia
James: hey, [Annie] just roared!!! *SHOOTS THE LION REPEATEDLY*
Annie: see what i mean? ROAR :P... *scares james to death with particually scarey roar that no one else was scared by*
Brie: but now i have a dead girlfriend AND a dead boyfriend!
Brie: i don't like this at all... *wails*
James: LOL brie likes dead people :P
Brie: wait... am i a necropheliac now?
James: i dont know brie, you tell us
Brie: well i didn't think i was... i think i'll go back to wailing now
James: lol
Brie: *glares* not funny
Annie: How could you James? *comforts brie* its ok breeza just cos those you love are dead you dont have to wail, be happy...
Angelo: *gets the popcorn and coke*
Angelo: *sits back and watchs*
James: can i have some of that, ive got beer :D
Brie: ooooh... it's a movie now is it? does that mean i get paid?
Brie: and that's a fair point annie, however being a necropheliac is generally looked at as a bad thing in today's society. hence the wailing
Brie: ...i don't want to be jailed
Brie: and beer is icky
Emily: are they dead dead? or zombies? or vampires? your going to have to be a bit more specific, there are lots of different kinds of dead... and none of them like beer, as no one should
Annie: i'm most definatly a zombie!! Beer is icky... and just dont have sex with james, therefore no sex with the dead and thus no being thrown in jail
Brie: i'm not sure i like that idea... if he were to be a vampire i don't think he'd count as dead though. vampires are UNdead. so no necrophelia
Emily: techniquely vampires are dead, reanimated but dead, hey an you do no zombies rot, right? and they have no souls thus cannot think for themselves can only do the biding of others, right?
Annie: meh... sounds like me...
Angelo: *nods and smiles*
Brie: so if annie's rotting... does that mean if we find any limbs lying around the school they fell off her?
Brie: and lawyers ARE vampires, so chances are they won't be too harsh prosecuting me for said necrophelia
Emily: ha ha vampire porn
James: hmmm... luckly jesus taught me the secret to the resurection, so in fact, the stone has been rolled away
Brie: hmmm resurrecting hey? you aren't the anti-christ or anything are you?
Brie: because that could get me excommunicated
Annie: *eats james' top smarts, being a zombie and all* BRAINS!
Annie: *is still hungry, rips off emily's head and sucks out her brains* BRAINS!

Running and Screaming
Emily: anyway james what is more fun than running and screaming? running and screaming while stealing a watch? running and screaming and throwing water bombs? fun things include running and screaming
Emily: or your not doing them right... well screaming at least......

James' Rant
Tim: I've been gone for too long... one day it's magical mushrooms, now it's monkeys. Are they magical too?
Brie: ALL monkeys are magical, silly
James: bout time all my minions returned to my self confessed fortress of ultimate power kind of my flying dagger ish giant extravaganzer *takes another breath* that swims thru the sea killing all sorts of...
James: ... witches and lions that are tamed, yet wild at heart and crave and urn for dire love that is unjustifiable, yet strangely requirable, but still manifesting in their heart, while their eyes ...
James: ... traverse the holy pyramids built by our own god forsaken jesus christ, before he offed him self while watchin a transformer performing erotica on a polar bear while it watch's two people express ...
James: ...their undying hatred for the food which the chief served, it was as tho, the food was rotting and yet the people had finally returned to the true place of discussion...
James: ... Bries Blog :D

Passion Pop
Tim: *steals passion pop off emily and retreats to hiding*
Brie: *pouts* but i want some passion pop....
Brie: you're using my blog to steal it, i believe that entitles me to at least a little bit
James: Here you go brie *as james pulls out a conspicously conveinient case of passion pop.*
Brie: yay!
Brie: *takes a sip*
Brie: *spits it out quickly*
Brie: ick
Tim: Quick, dilute it with vodka, it will taste better.

Party Story
Hidden for your mental well-being.
Click the title to view the story.

I Just Lost the Game
In reverse order
James: \/ \/ \/ DONT Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ DONT Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ DONT Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ DONT Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ DONT Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ DONT Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ DONT Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ DONT Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ DONT Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ DONT Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ DONT Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: I LOST THE GAME!
Annie: they will if they read your comment to tim...
Tim: Do not, under any circumstances, scroll down. You'll lose the game.
James: \/ \/ \/ Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: \/ \/ \/ Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: I LOST THE GAME!

Double Image
Tim: fucker, i mean... that was James *shifty eyes* again
James: hehehe, all i going to plan.... hang on... this is tim talking *points to tim*
James: no it was me
James: nuh uh, it was me
James: LIAR! it was so me
James: Candy mountain charlie
James: ahhh... i have gone and confused my self
Tim: and me :(
James: I need sugar. And alcohol. And caffeine.
Tim: \/ \/ \/ DONT Scroll down \/ \/ \/
James: oh the pain. the confusion
James: /\ /\ /\ SCROLL UP /\ /\ /\
Tim & James agree for once: This ends now.
James (the real one): is any one else confused, coz i just rocked up, and from the looks of it, tim is being gay, dont listen to tim if he is impersonating me
James: on the other hand, if you see me imitating tim, make sure you believe wat i say 100%
Tim (also real): You started it
Tim & James agree for once: pfft, now it ends
Tim & James agree for once: pfft, now it ends
Tim: only JAMES would be retarded enough to double post

Later, over MSN
Brie: do you want to explain my chatterbox please?
James: *runs out the door* *car starting sounds* *car tyres screeching**door slowly closes* ....

Boosting Emily's Self-Esteem
Emily: i do not like the additions to 'and i quote' as im not in them except for my non existant passion pop being stolen

James' Rant #2
James: i feel its time for another one of my pointless rants, that rant on about goo and other equally unsatisfying satisfyingly feel good moments that dont exist yet want to be in emily imaginairy passion..
James: ... pop, yet whenever they try they are whipped bakc into line by one of tims wierd kinky sex whips that he cracks, it has gottne to the the point where he seeks to spread his irrelevant confusion ...
James: ... and interopability while maintaing that elmo does in fact have a none gay sexual relationship with ernie, in the mean time ernie is only getting more sadistic towards zebe, so much so infact ....
James: ...that the overly sadistic things that are being done actually look like kind jestures of love from ernie, zebe doesnt appreicate them tho, she just burns them in the nearest appearture science ....
James: ...industrial incinorator that she passes, thankfully due to the fastly approaching distant pass, there are many of these machines on each street, one only needs to look at msn to see half a dozen...
James: ...all of which are not operational at the moment because the effiel tower is still standing despite being past its use by date, yet they seem to paint the thing each year, and by year i mean 666 days.
James: conveniently 666 is allso the number which abraham lincoln was thinking about as he was assassinated. unfortuntely because brie is being distracting, is shall finish my rant on assasinations.

Tormenting Maddy
Maddy: maddy begins to join the convo, hears what brie has just said and RUNS AWAY... but not really. MR CHARLES IS BORING!!!
Maddy: save me from the crappy schoolness
Zebe: naww, poor maddy getting stuck with mr charles all year.. they really need to replace him!
Emily: yeah but who then would torment maddy?
Zebe: you?
Emily: well thats a given

Party Story
Instructions: Over the course of the night add your own section to the following story.
Please do not delete or change other people’s work, and it would be appreciated if the story could actually be followed. FOR GREAT JUSTICE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Over in the hill, in Dutch land, there once was a one eyed fuzzy purple monster who was named Mohammed, who was more of a soft kind, and obsessively innocent child than an EX-TERRORIST. In fact he recently decided to become a rabbi, who had an insatiable hunger for chocolate. He had a huge crush on Mr Chocolate, a man made entirely out of chocolate. This man was terrified of Mohammed because he had a pineapple on his head. So, one fine day, he decided to run away to Wallan. (*crowd cheers “yay! Wallan!*)
‘Where’s that!!!” questioned the pineapple (who strangely had a mind of his own)
’Hahaha,’ replied Mr Chocolate, ‘That’s the perfect place to hide! If only I had my trusty Maddy to help me. Maddy knows how to do everything! She even knows how many Dr Who series there were.’ So they went off in search of Maddy.
Meanwhile, Jackie said,
“What about my line dancing???”
“What about your line dancing?” Laura replied.
After saying, “Grrr… cos I can smile, happy, happy without an end. And then I decide I would randomly shout EMILY IS AWESOME, because I’m so cool as I am Mitch.” , Mitchell decided to take another pill and continue the “journey”. Then Cornish walked along, or to be more accurate stumbled as he was blindly drunk (this can happen as it is only a story…) . at which point Amy spontaneously combusted into Brazilian pieces and a refrigerator.
As Mr Chocolate observed all this from Wallan, he was overcome with a powerful desire to eat a small dinosaur covered in BBQ sauce, He had to settle for a double-whopper with cheese, and 4 episodes of ancient hit sitcom ‘Becker’. From this point on, both Mr Chocolate and Wallan referred to themselves in the third person.

Johnny Depp is 100 years old and grossly disgusting. In the sack. He tries to rip off the girls ear with his big toe, which is choice bro.

Anyway, Claudio Sanchez rocks up with the rest of the crew and starts drinking stupid chick drinks.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh CHOO, gahhh not totally hypo on sugar yet gahhh they are singing something horribly AHHHHHHH out of tune evil sounds ooooooh Lydia and someone went outside WOOT more people are going out and Taylin and James and James and Emily has a funny brown thing round her waist and IGGY HAS A BERET IT NEEDS EATING cos it sounds like berry.
The importance of berrys in this context cannot be overstressed. Berries provide a vital part of the fabric of any successful party as they can be fermented. For this process, the berries are crushed up and mixed with tiny bacteria which use the sugars in a series of chemical reactions that produce alcohol. Alcohol makes any party transpose itself into a series of pretty colours and loud noises, most of which can be easily seen in the text thus far.
However, it has been observed that Beret’s cannot be easily fermented as they are made of cotton which we have found most difficult to crush. However, it does combine quite well with certain bacteria known as mould when used with water. This mould is quite good friends with the aforementioned Mr Chocolate, who, at this stage in the story, was quite inebriated after meeting up with his friend Mr Alcomahol. Shaken, not stirred. At this juncture, copyright lawyers came forth and removed Mr Chocolate’s left eye ‘King Lear’ style, for such a blatant breach of copyright regulations. And Emily wins.
“You’re not supposed to read it!” Mitch yelled, outraged……
And Emily loses, epically,
Mr Chocolate was sizeably more worried about having only one eye. He was considering a certain line from “300”, but upon sighting the copyright enforcers out of the corner of his, now only, eye, he thought better of it, and proceeded to consume a warm bowl of golden manbabies for which he earned five stars, good sir.
These five stars were rapidly exchanged for the fortune-bringing longcat whose length was the longest of all the felines. I enjoy ice cream and a nice pair of slacks, People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. Years later a doctor will tell me that I have an IQ of 46 and are what some people call mentally retarded.

I am poison running through your veins.

IM IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION! What do you love? I love scotch, poetry – oh and my dog Baxtor here. And then a mystical dwarf quadriplegic savant called Zed Xianova wandered into the room, accusing the people of various crimes including the malevolent crime of ‘alternate abuse’ although no one had much of an idea of what exactly that was.

And EMILY WINS AGAIN IN CAPITALS BECAUSE SHE POSTED 50, READ IT, 50 COMMENTS ON TIM SANDY’S MYSPACE AND IT SAYS TIMSANDY TIMSANDY ETC. FOR 50 COMMENTS FULL. Em, you just have no life.

Duh I work at KFC, where is the accent, I want the ACCENT!!!!! Damn Mitch is not drunk enough!!!! I cry *cries* is this story going anywhere? Arrrrrrrrrrrr I HATE this song must depart and kill it, adue.

Yeah Em, MITCH isn’t drunk enough. Where’s your drunkenness???

M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M MM M M M M M M M M M M M MM M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M = crap
This story has no meaning. Why are we doing it again???? Em you have no life!!

But this story really does have meaning! C’est wonderful!!! No it doesn’t fuck you.

I sink into the earth
Embraced by the cold arms
Of Lillith’s Garden
Please [God], erase my folly, and end this.

Oh I wish I was a punk rock girl with flowers in my hair… and so on…
But being of the male variety, if I did put flowers in my hair, I would be socially outcast from society, and possibly bashed when leaving gay bars in the city… not that I go to those… well, I do, but they’re not gay bars… its just that they are heavily populated by men… whom merely prefer the company of other men… but hey, who wouldn’t…. J

I have an IQ OF ONE ON HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FIVE BILLION.

And I have diabetes, if that’s not cool I don’t know what is.
Polycystic ovary syndrome is the coolest of the cool.
MILK WAS A BAD CHOICE.
They say that most women have three, four cysts in their ovaries… I have 22 take that bitch!

The worst injury I have ever received was when a baseball hit me in the temple but it bounced back so hard that it hit the pitcher right in the nads.
BRIE-SAN ^_^
But suddenly, after that episode, Claudio Sanchez appeared and spoke to me, he said,
“Good eye sniper. I shoot, you run.” Then I suddenly realised that I could do him right in the butt. Bam, ten points to Gryffindor. Unfortunately, he declined. So then I had to rape him. He didn’t have man feet. Brie does though.
So then we set off, in our horse and cart, with hopeful feelings of highly sexualised rape. In the butt. With pineapples. In the butt. Before they locked us up with tentacle handcuffs.
‘I want a shot!!!!!!!!!!! Gimme,’ said the ever so horny Emily, as she groped Foxy’s hot girlfriend. I want Kate’s mini peacock size Tim.
Suddenly, niggers. Squirt, yep I moan with cock.

Who the fuck writes this shit!! Hi Brie!! Happy Birthday!!!
James Rowe, obviously its coz he’s so james (word meaning gay but not queer and stupid or annoying etc.)
“I enjoy sweet sweet SWEET port soaked sex with a llama, namely nina. I mean, who wouldn’t enjoy that? And I also believe it’s time for a drunken myspace bulletin.”
Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118 wiooooooooooooooad llama friend in need’s a friend indeed. A FRIEND WITH WEED IS BETTER.
We don’t need no education, we don’t need no self control? No dark sarcasm in the classroom, teacher leave them kids alone. HEY TEACHER, LEAVE THEM DICKS ALONE.
Whoooore.

Well I don’t even know what the story is anymore…something about Mohammad who liked chocolate and hid in Wallan? I like chocolate…
So anyway one day Mohammad was in Wallan and he saw a pretty young female one-eyed purple flying purple people eater. And it was love at first sight and they got married and lived happily ever after and had lots of baby one-eye monsters who were purple with pink spots. All except one called Joe, who was actually blue. His brothers and sisters always bullied Joe until he decided to run away. He had not gone more than 5 metres out of the front door when he was hit by a car. He died.

(Insert random ramblings here as above.)

…But thank god Claudio, Travis, Mike and Josh were there and Emily wants sexing, not sex, but as in a pash. Who’s not Nina, as cool as she is, and all I love Nina but…..

Johnny Depp is hot and 100 years old.

Nic is suss. No, really. He’s even sussing with the aforementioned peoples, but seriously, if I had a dollar for every brain you don’t have. I’d have one dollar.
And then, all of a sudden, Claudio Sanchez appears again and starts to play “Welcome home.” Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118. SCOTT IS REALLY HOT ACCORDING TO MITCH, WHICH REMINDS ME, I MUST CHECK ON THE ACCENT….
Dddwoooooooooooooooo people in the front row. I’m sorry to the guy I took over from, we should like totally SEX :O SEXXXXXXXXX
LOLZ LAWL LAURA FOSHIZZLR. Flash, three way? For sure!!!
Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118 land in me lubber butt.

And, and, and… Rachel loves ya mum.
And Jackie.. (me)
And Scottlepie (me too). Lauraaaaaaaaaaaa, minus the pie = laurapie

Ar, and

ARRRRR we’rr all pirates!!!
Arrh

THIS IS SPAAAAAAARTA!!!

WHO WROTE THIS CRAP?!

TODAY WE DIE AS SPARTANS AND TODAY WE DIE WITH HONOUR. TODAY WE SHALL BRING VICTORY!

LOVE IS LIKE WAR, EASY TO START, DIFFICULT TO END IMPOSSIBLE TO 4GET.

STUPID RODDA IS AT 7! GRRR AND NINA IS AT LIKE 14..? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE IM REALLY SLEEPY RODDA IS HITTING ON ME, BUT IT’S OKAY, IM USED TO IT.

RAHHHHHHH
Frwanna sex yea u im talking? to u, the guy standing near me, 3some?

Ok ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
YOU LOVE IT. Like rabbi. SUGAR SuGAR SUGAR’s in a cage, sugar sugar. doodododoododoo
JACK, JACK, JACKIE!
LA LA LA LA LAURA!

A generation gap means our war is never won

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Can I stop SHUTTING UP NOW James?????

MUHAHAHA TOOOOOOOOOO LATE!!!!!!!!!!

BRIE THESE GUYS ARE ALL FAGS COZ THEY TALK IN ENGLISH... BUT I'M AWESOME. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! LOOOOVEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEGGGG!!!!!!!! [Translated from Wingdings]

Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118 Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118 Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118 Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118 Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118 Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118 Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118 Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118 Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118 Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118 Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118 Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118 Kate wants horsecock in the butt x 118 [still wingdings]

Caterpie, Caterpie, YEAH!
MISTYYY MISTYYYY!
I’M HUNGRY!

”Hey Ash, why did you give away your only Pokemon?”
”Uh… They were no good for sex any more”

Cake
Cake
Cake
Cake
Cake
Cake
Cake
Cake
Cake
Laura, kiss JD!!! - All night long, baby

“Oh gasp,” says a rather astounded Brie, this story seems to have degenerated somewhat (though she is glad to hear that two friends picked up), how about a change of topic? I hear that llamas are somewhat pleasant at this time of year.
Kate wants llama cock in the butt x 118 then. Kate wants anything if it moves in the butt x 118. Including trees. They sway in the wind, don’t they?
“But in the butt?“

By the way, if u hadn’t noticed, Maddy has boobs. And foxy is slim and a little bit foxy.. Whooo! Doctor Who reference!

God, now they’re singing.

David tennant is hotttttttttttt with lots of tee. He can sonic my screwdriver any day.

“Ewww… you have a screwdriver… that’s not right… at all. I thought you were female, but apparently I was wrong. Actually on second thoughts, maybe I should sonic his SCREWDRIVER”
‘Yeah, I agree with you on that one. Mmhmm I’d tap that.’

‘Hey Caitlan, you want to be his kid?’
‘ No, I want to be his lover’ – quote from maths

I’ll be his madame de pompadore! Woohoo!!!! I rather be Cassandra, she gets inside him… But he doesn’t like her. And he’s fighting it the entire time. Well, rape, but yeah… David Tennant, he can cassa my nova.
Because he’s rarely clothed? Oh yes. SEX
And he invented the French lottery… Yummy
Mmmhmmm, I love being a stalker
I want David Tennant in the pants, even if he is old. Meh, age is nothing if I can say to Caitlin ‘I’ve had David Tennant’, and watch her cry then explode
Lol, yeah that’d be so good
Lol, we are such sluts
But oh so cool, the grog is wearing off. Need more or will fall asleep.
I know. And everyone is hooking up now, so it’s no fun. BOO!!!!!
But SOPHIE AND TIM SANDY!!!!! ARRH IT’S SO WRONG, THERE LIKE BRO AND SIS or so they keep saying, when they’re sober anyway.
EWWWW, INCEST!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah it’d be like u and me, hot, but oh so wrong.
And that is NEVER going to happen.
We can both make sure of that.
Oh yes that is the only thing my self-control can handle
Well that’s ok. Imagine how awkward that’d be… I shudder to think of it… AWKWARD!
Like school after reeces? Well for me anyway
But like a million times worse
Haha, worst twins, EVER! I love that movie, no I mean film. There’s no such thing as a movie.

OMG TIMSANDY AND SOPHIE JUST SNUCK OFF INTO THE BEDROOM!!! SEX!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m very, very scared!
This is fucked, let’s go walk in on them. That would be a lot more funny-ness if I weren’t so dizzy-ness from alcomahol.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahhaahhahahha

I FARTED
lol **************zot**************

Old Godzilla was hoppin’ around, Tokyo city like a big playground.

Dear Brie. This is the moral police. We regret to inform you that this party is morally bankrupt.
Love Jesus.

Bon Anniversaire, BRIE!
Osama banana lol!!!

I have a rash on my BELLY!!!!!!!!!!! A nasty rash.

Why does Beyonce Knowles sing “to the left, to the left” ?
Because black people have no rights!!!!!!
LOL LOL!

Cake now.

Cake
Cake
Cake
Cake.

Great speech (4 words)
I love Brie!!! She is my best bud!!!! Yaaaa…… Love Kimbo!!! LOL!!!! It’s a violent pornography, choking chicks and sodomy.

Cornish is bored, someone should entertain him. You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals, so let’s do it, like they do on the discovery channel. Lol.

John & Meg – the only ones who don’t violently make out in public J Except maybe for Gareth. He’s a prime choice. Ten points for Big G!
And el niño. Everybody loves el niño. El niño has a nice belly. It farts muchly. Miatchy’s belly is better. Times lots.
“But how can a belly fart?” asks a very puzzled brie as she begins to sober up. “I’m oh so confused.” Her head explodes in a firework display of much prettiness and glowsticks. Brie likes glowsticks.

HAHA BITTERSWEET

TO FIND CONVALESCENCE SEARCH NOT AT THE GRAMMAR.

Wha???? I concur x muchly and a lot + infinity.

Oh baby, oh baby. I want you, I want you

What’s the difference between an Abbo and a park bench?
A PARK BENCH CAN SUPPORT A FAMILY!!!!!!!
AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

“Hey B2, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Yes B1, I think I am.”
“We should burn down the house”
“BRILLIANT!”

HEY BRIE, THANKS FOR THE PARTY IT WAS REALLY GOOD HAPPY 18TH
LOTS OF LOVE, JOHN AND MEGRON!

WOW, 16 pages of crap and still going strong. Pity it was MEANT TO BE A FREAKING DUTCH STORY.

I found them but their not having sex, so we cant shout at them. Sigh. Not sure if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing. I pretty much DON’T want to walk in on people sexing. Just no. tis all rather ick actually, and best avoided. Avoided at all costs in fact. I concur, just no.

Nawww, Dan is going. I love Dan. *tis muchly sad from this revelation* Yes. yes it is. Lol, Dixon has emerged from the room with Laura. He completely listened to the fridge when it told them to make out. Well, okay, it told Laura to kiss him, but these details are unimportant.
Also, I killed a daemonic piñata in most honourable single combat. THIS – IS – SPARTAAAAAAA!!!!!
This is, in fact, not Sparta, but rather a rather non-important corner of Victoria. Not as romantic I know, but there you are…

Ytype in ctaszy woesds deunksnedd dedleldeld.

Ahhh, all alone! Where has everyone gone?
So Mr chocolate, drunk off Jim Beam, stumbled into the bar. Only to meet with Mohammed, who stared him in the eye and licked his lips; He loved chocolate.

BLOB SURFING – annoying past time developed with careful consideration to the annoyance factor. Usually done as sleep begins lol FUN IS WITH THE TORTURE MUAHAHAHAHHA ……
SURF BOARD NOT REQUIRED, JUST BLOBS
FUNNER THEN A HOUSE OF PANCAKES
DUCKS ARE ANATHEMA

Mr. Chocolate at this time began to contemplate the meaning of his existence. If everything was based on perception, then Mr. Chocolate reasoned that he could perceive whatever he wanted. A whale fell out of the sky and Mr. Chocolate ceased to exist…
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC SSC had also ceased to exist as well. (BSC – Bronze Swimming Certificate. SSC – Silver Swimming Certificate.) Before he became a non-entity he wrote ‘I am a Fish’ four hundred times on his exam paper.

*pelvic thrust*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wow what a night, and our fabulous story suddenly became and estranged collection of random comments, Thank You all for adding to this STORY.

Aaaaah... it needed soooo many breaks. *fingers implode*